


A Long Way Home

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Barebacking, Fantasy, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Jared with horns, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Minor Character Death, Reverse Big Bang Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 06:38:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5817991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When his father dies, Jensen's brother is crowned the new king of the Ackles Kingdom. Jensen, as the younger sibling, has to leave the kingdom, following an old rule of their people. He doesn't know where to do, or what to with his life, until his childhood friend Jared offers him a place with the forest folk as his husband. What is initially a marriage of convenience between two friends slowly turns into something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Long Way Home

**Author's Note:**

> written for the SPN RBB challenge. The art prompt and more AMAZING art by [dulcetine](http://dulcetine.livejournal.com/) can be found [here](http://dulcetine.livejournal.com/193559.html)! <3
> 
> Thanks to my lovely beta readers, [dancing_adrift](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/pseuds/Dancing_Adrift) and [the_milky_way](http://the_milky_way.livejournal.com/)!

Jensen's father falls ill in spring.

Spring is usually Jensen's favorite time of the year. He likes the way the meadows around the lake will turn a lush green, flowers springing from the earth, and how the few trees lining the lake will grow new leaves. He can feel the water in the lake grow warmer with each day of sunlight, can sense the fish become more lively as he stands by the shore. Spring means the less prosperous times are finally over and new life emerging everywhere. 

This year, it takes longer for the weather to turn, though. When the healers tell them that King Alan will not recover, the sky is murky outside and there's not one ray of shining reflecting from the silver, blue surface of the big lake behind the castle. It's fitting.

"Are you sure?" Jensen asks, desperately. His hand is gripping his brother's forearm. He feels his chest tighten, his breaths becoming shallow. Just like his father's, he thinks. King Alan had been sick on and off all winter, but until the last couple of weeks it hadn't seemed too bad. Now his breathing is painful and wet, his skin is pale, and he hasn't made it out of his chambers in days.

"I'm sorry, your Highness," Samantha Smith, the kingdom's best healer, says. Her head is bowed a little, her posture defeated. 

Next to Jensen, Josh is standing ramrod straight, expression serious. His wife, Lydia, with her hand resting on his arm, is looking sad, but Josh is impossible to read. He has the posture of a king, Jensen thinks absently – the king he'll soon become.

"How long does he have?" Josh asks, and Jensen flinches at the words.

"A few weeks, maybe a couple of months," Samantha tells them. "We will make this time as comfortable for him as possible, but that's all we can do."

"Thank you," Josh says, and Jensen wants to scream. Wants to ask Samantha and the other healers to try harder, to find a different way to fix this. They were supposed to have years, decades still. 

He bites down on his lower lip, lets the pain distract him from the tears until Sam is shown out and Josh has ushered all the guards from the room too, while Lydia holds on tightly to Jensen's arm. Only then does a pained sob escape from his chest.

Josh draws him into a hug, holds him tight and shushes him gently. From crown prince to big brother in the span of a few seconds. He'll be a good king, a fair king, just like their father has been. 

The thought makes Jensen cry harder.

+

Jensen's father is – _is_ , because he's not gone yet, not yet, Jensen reminds himself over and over again in his head – a good leader, and an even better father. Busy as he was, he always made time for Jensen and Josh. He'd take them fishing on the lake, laughing and joking with his sons and ignoring the herd of guards always just a few feet away. He'd interrupt meetings for them, come to their rooms in the evening to say goodnight and tell them stories, and overlooked most of their youthful transgressions with a kind smile.

He always made sure that Jensen and Josh knew they were important to him. They were close, the three of them, and Jensen never felt like his life was lacking, despite the painful absence of his mother who died in childbirth.

Now, Jensen realizes that his father's kindness and love have had their flaws. He sits on his bed, watching the sky above the lake turn dark through the window of his chambers, and ponders what will happen to him.

It's customary for the king and queen to arrange marriages for all of their children, except the crown prince or princess. They're always married to someone outside the kingdom, so that when a new king or queen is crowned there will be no siblings around to challenge the throne. It's a tradition, a law, that runs back centuries to an ancestor who had to dodge several attempts on her life by her brother after she was crowned. Given her own tragic situation and the unrest it caused in the kingdom, Queen Leah passed a law to ensure the safety of the throne and the stability of the kingdom: henceforth all siblings of the crown prince or princess were to leave the kingdom when a new king or queen was crowned. Marriages were the obvious solution.

Jensen, though, has no prospective spouse lined up yet. He doesn't exactly blame his father for it, but he knows his father had been lenient with him. Jensen insisted that he felt too young to get married, hadn't wanted to think about having to leave his home, his family, one day. This is all he has ever really known – he's traveled, seen other places, but he's never left the kingdom for long, has never been anywhere without his brother and father. And his father had tried hard to make sure his sons never longed for anything, that they were happy and protected. And when Jensen had shown hesitance about being married, he hadn't pushed it. He had let it slide, believing, just like Jensen, that the matter hadn't been all that urgent yet.

"You have years still to find someone," he said the summer before, and Jensen had thought it was true. They all had.

And now, he'll have to leave. If not to live with a new spouse, then on his own. Jensen is sure Josh will send a whole army of guards with him, make sure he is provided for, but the law is the law. Once Josh is crowned king, Jensen will have to leave.

+

Over the next couple of weeks, the castle is never without guests. Friends and allies from all over come to say goodbye to King Alan and express their condolences to his sons.

Josh handles the whole hoopla with flying colors; he has to, Jensen knows, but he still admires him for it. He's glad that he is the younger brother during those days and doesn't have to deal with all the people. He's around enough for it not to appear impolite, but he escapes whenever he can.

A lot of the time, he sits outside by the shore of the lake, soaking in the comfort of the water.

The inhabitants of the Ackles Kingdom are water-folk. The whole kingdom is interspersed with lakes and rivers, along which people have built their houses. The castle is built by the shore of the kingdom's biggest lake, and it's as much a part of Jensen's home as the castle itself. 

The sound of the small waves hitting the shore, the croaking of frogs and the rustling of the reeds never fails to calm Jensen down, touching a part deep inside of him. The water, the lakes, are part of him, part of everyone in the kingdom. 

Now, Jensen sits close enough to dip the tips of his toes into the water. He closes his eyes, lets his senses feel the fresh, clean water, the fish and other living beings in the lake.

He startles when he feels another presence, someone just a few feet behind him, and turns his head around. For a moment, with the sun shining into his eyes, all he can make out is a big, dark figure, looming over him and his heart speeds up in his chest. Then he blinks and recognizes the man – taller than he remembers, hair even longer and messier, the horns curling downward along his head bigger, more impressive than they were a few years ago. 

"Jared," he murmurs and gets up onto his feet. 

They haven't seen each other in a long time and there's a small moment of hesitance, before they both step closer and Jared pulls Jensen into a hug. There's a protocol for how they should greet each other, bows and titles and everything, but Jensen is too tired to care, just seeks the comfort and familiarity of his old childhood friend.

Jared is the crown prince of the Padalecki Kingdom, the forest folk that live far north. Despite the geographical distance, the two royal families have been close friends for many generations and they'd visited each other regularly, especially when Jensen was still a kid. He remembers hours of playing hide and seek with Josh and Jared in the Padalecki castle, taking Jared fishing when he was with them, and sneaking into the kitchen for treats in both places alike. The last time he'd seen Jared was at Josh's wedding two summers ago, though – tension between two nearby kingdoms that had just resolved this past fall had made traveling harder for everyone. 

"It's been too long," Jared murmurs, echoing Jensen's thoughts. Jensen nods, feels the soft silk of Jared's tunic against his cheek before he pulls back reluctantly. He has to look up to meet Jared's eyes; they used to be almost the same height, but Jared towers over him now. He looks older, more mature too. The angles of his face are sharper, his horns – a feature all forest people bear – are long and thick now, and he's bulked up a lot, too. Jensen feels small and strangely fragile next to Jared, something he hasn't felt in years.

"You grew up," he notes with a small smile.

Jared looks down at him, his expression solemn. He takes Jensen's face between his hands, palms warm, and searches his eyes. Jensen wonders what Jared sees there. The pain over his father's illness? His fears and worries? 

"Jensen," Jared says, sounding sad, and Jensen knows that whatever it is Jared sees on his face must be heartbreaking. His eyes start to burn with tears and he sniffs.

"I'm okay," he mumbles. Jared sighs.

"No, you're not," he replies and leans down, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm so sorry. So very sorry."

"Thank you," Jensen says and the words feel all wrong, stiff. It's the polite thing to say, the words he's had to say a thousand times over lately, when all he wants to do is cry and yell and throw a tantrum the way he last did as a toddler.

"My parents had very urgent business to attend, but they send their condolences and they'll be here as soon as they can," Jared continues. "I know that doesn't make it better, but we're here for you."

"It does make it better," Jensen says softly. "I'm glad you're here. I...I'm just glad, Jared."

"Any time," Jared says and tips his head back, giving Jensen another sad smile. "I've missed you, Jensen."

+

After dinner that night, a long, drawn out affair with all the guests currently in the castle and a mood that's more somber than at any dinner Jensen has ever been to, Jensen excuses himself. Most people stay behind for a drink, but he's itching to get away.

Upstairs, in his family's private wing, he goes to his father's chambers first. His father lying in bed, propped up on an array of pillows and swaddled in furs and blankets. Jensen sits down on the edge of the mattress and takes his father's hand in his. His father gives him a small smile.

"Jensen," he says, his voice weak and raspy. He looks like he has aged about two decades in the past month, hair grayer and face sunken in. Jensen smiles back weakly and smooths the blankets out with his free hand, tugging them a little higher.

"Don't talk. The healers said you need to rest," he chides. His father squeezes his hand in reply.

"I just wanted to see if you needed anything before going to bed, sit with you for a little while," Jensen explains. When his father gives him a small shake of his head, indicating he doesn't require anything, Jensen falters a little.

There's a moment of silence, then Jensen clears his throat.

"Queen Sharon and King Gerald of Padalecki send their regards, did someone already tell you?" he asks. "Jared got here this afternoon. The healers said you needed to rest, but he's going to come see you tomorrow."

Alan smiles.

"It's very nice of him to come, don't you think?" Jensen continues. "And his parents will be here shortly, too. They're excited to see us again. I spent the afternoon with Jared, just catching up; they're all doing wonderfully, but he told me they missed coming here more regularly. Though he still doesn't like fish. Says it tastes funny, the idiot."

He rolls his eyes at the last statement, and his father laughs. It turns into a small cough and Jensen strokes his arm.

"You should get some sleep," he murmurs. "I shouldn't be keeping you up."

"Stay a little," Alan rasps, and Jensen swallows past the lump in his throat and nods. He stays until his father is asleep, and then he sneaks out quietly, looking down so he doesn't have to meet the guards' eyes.

+

In his own chambers, he kicks off the soft leather boots he's been wearing all day. Barefoot, he sighs and pads over to the basin sitting on the chest of drawers. It's dark outside already and Jensen can't see much other than the reflection of the moon on the surface of the lake.

Picking up a jug, he pours water into the basin. He waits until it settles, smooths out, and then dips his finger into it. It's cool, and as Jensen breathes out, small ripples form around his finger. They get bigger, the water lapping up at the sides of the basin, the sounds calming Jensen down. He meets his own eyes in the mirror hanging over the basin and studies himself.

Like his father, he looks older too. Worn. The carefree attitude of the past is gone, his skin even paler than usual. The freckles stand out on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, his ears peeking out through hair that's a lot unrulier than usual. The biggest change though are his eyes, duller than before and looking wider due to him losing weight. He's been too worried to eat more than a bite here and there lately. Lake folk are naturally fair, but Jensen looks like a spirit, straight out of some folktale about the dead who can't move on.

A knock on the door startles him and he pulls his finger out of the water, drying it on his tunic.

"Yes?" he asks. 

The door opens with a creak and Jared stands, tall and broad, in his door.

"May I come in?" he asks formally. 

Jensen peers at the guards past Jared's shoulders and nods.

"Of course."

There's a settee, facing the fire that's slowly burning away in the open fireplace, and Jensen sits down on it, gesturing at the empty space next to him. Jared closes the door and joins him. There's something in his expression, a tightness that wasn't there before.

"I was talking to Josh just now," he says. "He told me you're leaving once he's crowned king."

Jensen draws in a breath.

"I have to," he says.

"It didn't sound like Josh wants you to leave," Jared presses. 

"It's a law, Jared. It's not about what either of us wants. I don't have a choice."

"That's bullshit!" Jared exclaims. "What are you supposed to do? Just pack your things and leave for some other kingdom?"

Jensen looks ahead into the fire, watches the flames lick up around the pieces of wood.

"I suppose. I don't know," he says. "We didn't have time to make plans for this, to arrange something."

"I don't get it," Jared says hotly. "You would never fight your brother for the throne. You're not a threat!"

"No, but that doesn't matter. And it's not just about that. It's a show of respect, of me accepting that my brother is the new king and leaving the power to him. If I stay, people would see it as a sign that I'm not submitting to the new situation. It would just cause unrest," Jensen explains. "I have to do this, whether or not Josh and I are happy about." 

Jared snorts. "That sounds absolutely ludicrous to me. There are some things about your kingdom I'll never understand."

"And I will never understand some about yours," Jensen says with a smile. 

"Where will you go?" 

Jensen's smile falters and he shrugs.

"I don't know yet. We all thought we had many more years until this would happen, you know? Otherwise something would have been arranged for me - a marriage that would have offered security and a good life. That's what usually happens," he says. "But I'm afraid my father is too sick to find a spouse for me now. My brother is trying to find something for me, but it's tough. There's no time for courting and we're not the richest kingdom; my dowry wouldn't be very big. I...I don't think they'll be able to marry me off so quickly, but I'll still have to leave. I guess I'll just have to go; maybe someone will offer me a place in court." 

Jared takes a deep breath. "No." 

"No?" Jensen echoes, looking at Jared in surprise.

"You need a spouse, that would be the best solution, right?" he asks. "Well, then I'll marry you." 

"What? Jared, you can't." 

Jared gives him a challenging look, eyes glinting in the firelight.

"Why not? You're my friend, Jensen, and you need help," he says. "And I would be honored to have you as my husband." 

"You're the crown prince of the kingdom of Padalecki. You'll be _king_ one day," Jensen stresses. "This isn't a decision you can make lightly."

"You're a prince. I don't see how you're not a good match for me." 

Jensen twists his fingers together.

"We're a small kingdom. We don't have the riches you have," he says softly. "There are matches that would benefit you more." 

"Stop right there, Jensen," Jared says, voice kinder. He curls his fingers around Jensen's wrist, tugging and clasping their hands together. "You're the prince of a very respected kingdom. You're a perfect match."

"What about love?" 

"There's nobody I'm interested in in that way, and who knows if there'll ever be?" Jared gives him a smile. "My parents have been urging me to find someone for a while now, but none of the men and women they've introduced me to have caught my interest. I should be so lucky as to marry a friend instead, Jensen." 

Jensen breathes out, feeling some of the tension he's been carrying around for weeks now leaving his body.

"You're serious about this." 

"Yes," Jared confirms. "You would be a wonderful husband, Jensen, and a great asset to our kingdom. My parents would be more than pleased, you know they adore you and your family. And I'd be very happy, too. So please? Marry me?" 

Jensen looks at him with wide eyes.

"Jared," he exclaims. "You can't just propose! That's inappropriate." 

Jared laughs.

"Fine, I will talk to your brother and father and send word to my parents. If everyone agrees to our union, will you marry me then?" 

Jensen gives Jared a hard look; despite the smile on Jared's lips, he can read the stubbornness in his eyes. It's something he's all too familiar with. Once Jared has made up his mind, it's impossible to change his mind and, as far as Jensen remembers, he always ends up getting his way, too. 

"Yes," he finally agrees, keeping his voice soft. "Yes, if everyone agrees to this, I'll marry you."

Jared smiles widely and winds his arms around Jensen, pulling him against his chest.

"Thank you," he murmurs. "You'll see, this'll be great."

Jensen laughs, but the sound comes out wet. He's been trying not to show it, but he's been worrying relentlessly about his future, terrified about having to leave. He's still not okay, but he knows he has a place to go now, a secure future.

"Thank _you_ , Jared," he says, and buries his face in Jared's strong, wide shoulder.

+

Jensen closes the door to his father's room softly, and wipes tears from his eyes. He hears footsteps approaching and looks up to see Josh walking down the hallway toward him.

"I was looking for you," Josh says, resting a hand on Jensen's arm when he's close enough. "How is he? Everything okay?"

Jensen nods.

"He's sleeping. It's getting worse with every day though," he says, and Josh nods.

"Yeah, unfortunately."

"It's only a matter of weeks now, if at all, isn’t it?" Jensen asks, and Josh gives him a pained grimace.

"He's slipping," he agrees and squeezes Jensen's arm.

"Anyway, why were you looking for me?" Jensen asks, suddenly desperate to change the topic, to not talk about what they both know is inevitable. 

"I wanted to talk to you about something," Josh says, and glances at the guards by the door. "Let's go to my office."

Jensen nods and follows Josh through the hallways and down the stairs to the office. He sits down on the armchair tucked into one corner of the room and waits patiently as Josh pours them both a glass of sweet, syrupy wine from a jug.

"Jared came and talked to me," Josh says once he's sat down in an armchair across from Jensen. 

"Did he?" Jensen asks innocently, but he can guess where this is going. His stomach gives a little flutter of anticipation and he takes a quick sip from his wine, feeling it settle warmly in his belly.

"Do you want to marry him?" Josh asks frankly.

Jensen takes another sip, then twirls the glass between his fingers thoughtfully.

"He's a great friend. A great person," he finally says.

Josh makes a disgruntled noise.

"I know that, Jensen. I'm not doubting that he's great and has good intentions," he says. "I'm asking if you want to be married to him?"

Jensen feels a flare of anger at the questions, the urge to ask Josh what other choice he has. He keeps those words to himself, though, knows it's not fair because Josh isn't to blame for his situation.

"I'll have to leave," he says. "With Jared, I'd not only have a place to go, but a friend. Someone who cares about me. And I care about him. I think Jared would be a wonderful husband, don't you?"

"I do," Josh admits without hesitance. "Jensen, seeing you leave will be hard on me too. I wish things were different. But we can't change how things are and, to be honest, it would be a great relief to me if you were married to Jared. I trust him. But I need to know that it's something you want to do."

"I do," Jensen says. "I...I think it'd be better than anything I could have hoped for."

Josh nods. He drains his glass and sets it down.

"Well, I guess we should start making arrangements then," he says. "Jared told me his parents already consented to the union."

Jensen nods, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. It's decided. He's getting married, and not just that, but he's getting married to _Jared_. Jared, who always shared the pastries they sneaked from the kitchen equally between them, who regaled him with stories upon stories when they were younger, and who came here the moment he heard about Jensen's father imminent death. 

"This is a good thing, right?" Josh asks gently. Jensen meets his eyes, feels his own tear up, and nods.

"I'll miss you, but we'll be okay. It's _Jared_ ," Jensen agrees and he knows he doesn't have to explain it. Josh gets what he means. Jensen isn't marrying someone he is head over heels in love with, like Josh did, but this is the next best thing. He's marrying a friend.

+

It takes two weeks to arrange everything.

Jensen muses that it's the fastest wedding anyone in all kingdoms has ever witnessed, at least among the royals. Josh's wedding took months and months of detailed planning and the guest list had been endless. Jensen's and Jared's ceremony, in comparison, is a small affair. Most of the royal families from neighboring kingdoms will be in attendance, but a lot of those from farther away can't make it to the Ackles Kingdom on such a short notice. Jensen doesn't mind; he's happy to stand up and say his vows in front of a smaller audience than a whole banquet hall full of people.

He wonders if this is what Jared had thought his wedding day would be like, though. If his soon-to-be husband hadn't pictured something grander, something _better_ , whenever he thought about getting married. As it is, Jensen feels bad enough because the ceremony is held in the Ackles Kingdom and not the Padalecki Kingdom, as it should be, given that Jared is the crown prince. But Jensen's father can't travel and his sons don't want to leave his side.

"We'll just have a big banquet when you and Jared come home," Queen Sharon tells him when Jensen apologizes profusely for the setting of their wedding. Jared's parents arrived a week earlier, diving right into the planning. To Jensen's surprise, they had seemed pleased with Jared's decision, happy to welcome Jensen into their family.

The day of their wedding dawns brightly, the sky blue and the sun shining. Jensen always thought he'd be nervous, but he's oddly calm as he walks down the aisle toward Jared. As customary for his own people, the wedding is outside, right by the lake, and the proximity of the water gives Jensen a sense of peace.

His father is at the front, sitting in the plushest of chairs, wrapped up in furs to keep him warm. He looks tired, exhausted, but he gives Jensen a smile and a small nod when their eyes meet. 

The ceremony is short, but nice. Jared holds his hand through the vows and smiles at him before he gives him a short, soft kiss to the sound of the guests clapping loudly. The touch of Jared's lips is brief, but Jensen still feels his stomach swoop. Jared, sweet adorable Jared who he used to play silly childhood games with, is now his husband. 

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Jared murmurs into his ear as they turn around to face the guests. His arm is around Jensen's waist, keeping him tugged against his side. Jensen smiles up at him.

"I think the wedding is supposed to be the easy part. It's what follows that's hard."

"I have faith in us," Jared says with a grin. Jensen feels oddly reassured by that.

+

Jensen is a little tipsy by the time the banquet draws to an end. The later it got, the more people insisted on saying a toast, and with all the eyes on him and Jared, Jensen felt like he had to at least take a sip every time.

"Time for bed, huh?" Jared teases when they finally make their way to Jensen's chambers. He has an arm wrapped around Jensen's back, fingers digging into his ribs, and Jensen fuzzily thinks that Jared is already being a wonderful husband for not letting him stumble and sway. The guards following them discreetly would no doubt tell people if Jensen drunkenly fell on his face on his wedding night.

"You're really great," Jensen mumbles, cheek knocking against Jared's shoulder as he turns his head to look up at him.

Jared laughs softly.

"You too," he replies, and Jensen smiles.

In his bedroom, Jensen sheds his shoes, tunic, and tights and leaves them in puddles on the floor. Yawning, he crawls into bed. Jared takes a bit longer and he blows the oil lamp out before he slides in next to Jensen. 

For a split moment, Jensen stiffens. It's their wedding night and his thoughts suddenly are a jumble about customs and obligations and expectations. But Jared simply pats his arm and his lips find Jensen's forehead in the darkness.

"Good night, Jensen," he murmurs.

Jensen falls asleep not too soon after, next to Jared without a single part of their bodies touching.

+

King Alan of Ackles passes away three days after the wedding.

By noon, the healers let them know the king is fading quickly. Jensen and Josh sit by his side for the rest of the day, and Jared and Lydia will only leave occasionally when something needs to be taken care of.

The sun is just starting to set when Jensen's father takes his last breath.

+

"You should eat something," Jared says gently. His hand is rubbing slow circles onto Jensen's back as he sets down a plate onto the table next to the settee.

Jensen, who has his knees drawn up and is staring into the empty fireplace, shakes his head.

"Not hungry."

"Jensen," Jared murmurs. "I know you don't feel like it right now, but you gotta eat a little. You'll make yourself sick if you don't."

He kneels down in front of Jensen, right in his line of sight, his hand cupping Jensen's shoulder.

"Please?" he adds.

Jensen swallows thickly, the thought of food making his stomach turn.

"I can't," he says. He lets his legs slide down, one foot landing on Jared's lap and the other on the floor. "Not tonight."

Jared heaves a sigh.

"Fine. But tomorrow, first thing in the morning, you'll have some food. Promise?"

Jensen nods.

"Promise," he replies in a whisper. Jared doesn't exactly look happy, but he doesn't push the topic any further. He reaches up, hand cupping Jensen's face, and he wipes his thumb under Jensen's eye. Jensen feels the smear of wet tears there, just drying and getting tacky, and the reminder that he's been crying, combined with the gentleness of Jared's touch, is enough to make fresh tears well up again. He closes his eyes, a few wet drops sliding out, and tries hard not to sob.

"Shhh," Jared murmurs. His arms slide around Jensen, pulling him in. Jensen feels the smoothness of his horns brush against his cheek, and then his face is tugged into Jared's neck as Jared gathers him close.

He keeps his eyes firmly shut, trying hard to stay calm, to keep his breathing under control. A couple of soft, broken sobs escape him before he can collect himself.

"It's okay," Jared whispers into his ear. "It's all going to be okay."

"It's just...he's gone and I'll have to leave home and..." Jensen babbles, words muffled by Jared's shoulder. Jared pulls back a little, cups Jensen's face in his hands again and rests their foreheads together.

"I know, Jensen." 

"Everything's changing," Jensen says, another tear escaping and dripping down onto Jared's fingers.

"Shhh, sweetheart," Jared says softly and they're close enough that Jensen feels Jared's breath against his lips. He doesn't think about it as he closes the small distance between them and kisses Jared, driven by the need to feel something other than pain and worry, to be distracted even just for a little while.

Jared hesitates for a moment, mouth slack, and Jensen curls his fingers into Jared's long hair and makes a little desperate noise. _Please_ , he thinks, _please please please_. And then, finally, Jared kisses him back. His hands tilt Jensen's head to the side, the angle allowing their lips to slide together more easily, and he coaxes Jensen's lips apart with his tongue, kissing him deep and dirty.

+

They end up in the middle of the bed, a trail of clothes on the floor.

Jared is on top of Jensen, Jensen's legs wrapped around him and tangled with Jared's as Jared grinds down into him. His movements are hard and urgent, their kisses messy. Jensen feels dizzy, head spinning with so many emotions but he can't focus on anything but this, the pleasure and need and the feel of Jared's strong, hard body pinning him down onto the mattress.

"Please," he gasps between kisses, and Jared answers with small grunts. His body is radiating heat, skin burning, and Jensen rocks up against him, desperate for the friction and Jared's touch, as soft moans fall from his lips. Jared's cock is hard and big, sliding wetly against Jensen's and for a split second, Jensen imagines what it might feel like inside of him, to have Jared take him.

He runs his hands up Jared's back, holding him down against his body with blunt nails digging into smooth skin, and slides one hand into Jared's hair. His wrist brushes against the curve of Jared's horn and, curious, he traces his fingers over the smooth hardness. Jared keens, breaking the kiss and thrusting down erratically.

"Jensen," he gasps. "Come on."

Jensen's touch gets a little firmer, bolder, and Jared stares down at him with dark eyes, pink lips parted as he pants. Jared crashes their lips together again. One of his hands slides down to Jensen's hip, fingers worming their way around Jensen and the mattress as he cups the curve of Jensen's ass. 

"Let go, sweetheart," Jared murmurs against his lips, mouth brushing against mouth, and Jensen moans. He pushes his hips up, his cock gliding against Jared's, pressing against Jared's hard stomach, and he comes with a cry.

+

Jensen's face is mashed into Jared's chest when he wakes up the next morning.

He shifts away and feels himself flush at the way his body aches a little. There's dried come on his stomach, and he feels dirty, grimy with sweat. He slides out of the bed and takes the sheets with him, wrapping the fabric messily around his body as he shuffles into the bathroom. 

There's a bath already drawn and Jensen blushes in mortification knowing one of the maids must have been in their room, seen them curled together, probably looking ruffled and debauched.

Rubbing his face, he lets the sheets fall to the ground and gets into the hot water. He keeps his mind purposefully blank as he scrubs himself clean, tries not to think about the night before nor the fact that, in a few short hours, they'll be burying his father.

By the time he gets out of the bathroom, his skin pink and a towel wrapped around his hips, Jared is awake, sitting in bed with the sheets and furs pooled around him. He looks sleep-ruffled, hair messy. 

He gets up when he sees Jensen, not bothering to cover himself up. The night before, Jensen didn't get the chance to fully take him in and he only glances at him now before quickly averting his eyes, but it's enough. He knew Jared wasn't the scrawny kid he once knew anymore, but seeing him naked is even more startling. He's huge, shoulders wide and stomach flat, and it makes Jensen flush, makes memories of last night pop up in his head over and over again.

"I'll go wash up," Jared says, sounding casual. "You should eat something."

"Jared," Jensen starts, spying the tray sitting on the table by the empty fireplace. It's laden with food – baked pastries, thin slices of salmon, and a big jug of milk.

"You promised," Jared reminds him, and vanishes into the bathroom. 

Jensen gets dressed slowly before sitting down. He doesn't feel particularly hungry, but he nibbles at the food anyway.

+

They don't talk about what happened the night before.

Jensen tries, but just thinking about it overwhelms him and he stumbles over the words. Jared, dressed in solemn colors for the funeral, slides an arm around his shoulders and kisses the top of Jensen's head.

"Don't worry about it," he says. "You're grieving and you were upset last night. I understand, okay?"

"Okay," Jensen agrees, relieved. 

Jared tightens his arm around him.

"Let's just try to get through the funeral. And then we'll take it day by day."

Jensen nods, feeling like a small weight has been lifted off his shoulders. With everything else going on, he's not in the right mindset to deal with anything else. It's too much, too confusing.

+

Josh is crowned the day after the funeral.

Jensen is glad he gets to be there to see his brother be declared king. Despite what it means for him, and all the changes that are about to follow, he's proud of Josh, knows his brother is going to be a good ruler.

"Are you and Jared all packed for tomorrow morning?" Josh asks when they catch a moment where it's just the two of them in Josh's office later that day. Jensen nods.

"We're going to leave earlier tomorrow morning. It's a long journey."

"You know, I'm going to miss you around here."

"You're going to be way too busy to miss me," Jensen teases. 

"Well," Josh starts and gives Jensen a sheepish grin. "You might actually be right about that. Lydia is expecting."

"What? Really?" Jensen exclaims, and pulls Josh into a hug before his brother can answer. "That's incredible!"

"Yeah, it is," Josh agrees, and he sounds happy and giddy. Jensen hugs him a little tighter before pulling back.

"I'm so happy for you," he says. "And Lydia, of course. Why didn't you tell me together? She must be so excited."

"She thought we might want to spend a little more time together, before, you know."

"Before I leave," Jensen finishes the thought. 

"Well, the good news is you will have to come visit us as often as possible now, spend time with your niece or nephew."

Jensen grins.

"You try and stop me," he jokes. Josh reaches out and grabs Jensen's hand, squeezing it.

+

There's a banquet that night. Another one, though this is different than all the others they've had to host for guests lately.

People are happier, more carefree, than they have been in the castle for a while. Even his and Jared's wedding wasn't as joyous an occasion. This evening, though, people are talking and dancing and wine is flowing freely.

It's odd, but observing everybody else Jensen feels a little detached from everything. Now that Josh is the new king, the castle and kingdom are no longer his home. All of his things are packed, everything readied for his and Jared's departure. For them to leave and go to the place that will be Jensen's _home_ from here on out.

"Are you okay?" Jared asks in a quiet voice, leaning in close so only Jensen can hear him.

In the middle of the ballroom, among other swaying couples, Josh is dancing with Lydia, the two of them looking happy and relaxed. Jensen smiles sadly.

"I'm ready to get out of here," he says to Jared. "We have to get up early tomorrow. I need some rest."

Jared agrees easily, but he keeps his hand firmly on Jensen's back as they make the rounds to say goodbye to the guests and once they're in Jensen's chambers, empty and bare now, he hugs Jensen to him.

+

Jensen looks out of the carriage's window. They're flanked by what feels like a whole army of royal guards from the Padalecki Kingdom, there to ensure his and Jared's safe journey home.

Next to him, Jared is quiet and Jensen appreciates it. He feels like he's already said everything there was to say over the last few weeks; for now, he's all talked out. His eyes feel a little gritty from the tears he shed when they said goodbye to Josh and Lydia, and his heart and chest feel heavy.

He looks at the lake outside; the surface is glittering in the early morning sun, calm and peaceful. People watch them as they pass by, a lot of them stopping and waving. Jensen raises his hands a few times in acknowledgment, but it makes him feel worse, and he's glad when the huts lining the shore get fewer and fewer. 

By the time they stop for a break around lunchtime, they've left the lakes behind and are in the swampier outskirts of the Ackles Kingdom. Soon they'll cross the boarder, reach the Harris Kingdom. Jensen already misses the smell of the lakes and the wind coming in from the water.

+

People are lining the road, clapping, as the carriage approaches the castle where the Padaleckis reside. A lot of them are shouting, variations of "Welcome, your highness" filtering in through the window. Jensen peers outside and waves, feeling a little overwhelmed.

While the castle Jensen grew up in overlooked a lake, the Padalecki castle is built on a hill at the heart of the kingdom, surrounded by thick forests. The trees here are higher than any of those back home, the world beneath basked in shadows. There's sunlight filtering in through the trees, sure, but everything seems darker. The forest smells earthy and rich, so different from the air he's used to. 

As they slowly make their way to the hill, he spies more and more houses through the trees. All of them are wooden structures, some on the ground and some supported by beams, a few feet off the ground. He remembers all of these things from previous visits. He has run through the woods and climbed trees, and while his memories of the kingdom are fond, it's different to take all of this in again now, knowing he's not going back home.

Jared kisses his temple when the carriage finally comes to a stop in the castle's courtyard. 

"Ready?" he asks, and Jensen gives him a weak smile.

"What if I say no?" he asks, only half kidding.

Jared looks at him fondly and brushes his fingers down Jensen's arm.

"My mother would be very disappointed," he replies, and Jensen sighs. 

Jared steps out first, then holds his hand out for Jensen to take. The castle's staff has formed a pathway leading up to large wooden doors and they bow and curtsy as Jared and Jensen walk past them. Jared's parents await them at the end, and Jensen barely has time to bow before them before he's pulled into hugs.

"Welcome home, dear," Queen Sharon greets.

Jensen lowers his eyes, hoping she doesn't read the uncertainty he feels, and murmurs, "Thank you, your Majesty."

+

The Padaleckis are hosting a big celebration for Jared and Jensen that night. Since they're already officially married, this one is a lot less formal.

There's a big dinner with friends and family of the Padaleckis first, but afterward the festivities spill out into the courtyard that's open to everyone that night. Jensen is surprised by how many people there are, forest folk from seemingly all over the kingdom gathering to celebrate the marriage of their crown prince. 

There's more food and wine and music, and everyone seems merry. Jensen is a little nervous, but he relaxes as the evening progresses. There are guards everywhere, keeping them safe, and everyone seems happy about his presence in their midst, welcoming rather than rejecting.

"Dance with me," Jared says when Jensen already feels tipsy and flushed. The wine is richer and sweeter than what he is used to and he feels like it went straight to his head. 

"Jared. Everyone will be watching us," he tries to protest. Jared grins, shaking his head a little, and strands of silky hair fall into his eyes.

"Then you better not step on my feet, husband," he says and grabs Jensen's hand. He pulls him close, smiling down at him, and starts moving. Jensen feels his cheeks burn, sure he can see and hear people whisper around them, but he tries following Jared's steps as he guides him into a dance unfamiliar to Jensen.

+

There are many things that are different. Jensen noticed a lot of them before during past visits, but somehow a lot of it still manages to strike him as odd now.

People in the Padalecki Kingdom look different, for one. Everyone – with the exception of people like Jensen, _outsiders_ who moved to the kingdom – has horns. Jensen always liked them, remembers thinking as a kid how strong and majestic it made people look. He certainly likes Jared's. Thinking about how he touched them when they were in bed together makes him flush, remembering the reaction it triggered in Jared. The horns are also the most obvious physical difference between the forest people and lake people and they're like a constant reminder to Jensen that he's different, that he's not from the very place he now calls home. His ears are a little pointier, his skin fairer, and he has freckles, and for the first time in his life, he feels self-conscious about these things. He hates not fitting in, hates that he so obviously sticks out.

There are many other things, too. Like the fact that people here wear darker clothes than customary in the Ackles Kingdom, or that the birds outside sound different than the ones living by the lakes. The food is nothing like what Jensen is used to either – he doesn't dislike it, enjoys the sweet taste of the berries that are gathered in the forest and the richness of nuts. The tangy meat from game isn't bad either, but Jensen misses lighter tasting meat and fish. 

The worst thing, though, is when someone uses an expression that Jensen has never heard before. Most of the time, Jensen gets away with nodding and pretending to know what they're talking about, but sometimes he'll have to ask and it makes him feel young and stupid. 

And even though everyone is nice and pleasant to him, Jensen sometimes wonders if they notice how different he is, too. If people who meet him ever think he's strange, if they ever talk about how he doesn't really fit in. If they wish Jared hadn't married an outsider, someone who doesn't know or understand them and their culture.

+

"You know, my sister married a man from another kingdom, too," Sharon tells him one day, while Jensen is being measured for new clothes. He's been reading as much as he can about the Padalecki Kingdom and the culture of the forest people, trying to get as familiar as he can with his new home. There are a lot of things that he's not going to pick up in a day, or a week, or maybe even months, but there are little ways in which he can try to fit in. Clothes are one of them, and so he asked to get a few new pieces for his wardrobe the day before to begin replacing his light blue tunics with dark green and deep red ones.

Sharon helps him pick out colors and fabrics, discussing styles and cuts with Jensen and the court's tailor.

"I read about that," Jensen says while the tailor measures the length of his arms. "She married the second son of King Collins of the mountain folk, right?"

"Yes," Sharon says, nodding. "I visited her often in the first few years, before I had Jared. It was very hard on her, leaving her home behind."

Jensen is quite for a moment, watching the tailor work.

"Did it get easier?" he finally asks.

"Yes," Sharon reassures him. "She loved her husband very much and with time she settled in well in her new home. Now, whenever she comes to visit us here, she shakes her head at some of our customs as if they weren't once her own."

Jensen gives her a small smile.

"That's nice, that she's happy."

"She is," Sharon agrees. "And you will be too."

"I'm sure I will be. You've been nothing but gracious, all of you, and I'm very grateful for that."

"We know, dear. Nobody thinks otherwise," she assures him and then smiles widely, looking him up and down. "You know, I think your new tunics will suit you wonderfully. The colors are quite gorgeous. I'm sure my son won't be able to take his eyes off you."

She winks at him, and Jensen ducks his head, blushing.

+

The library quickly becomes Jensen's favorite place over the next few weeks.

He never really cared much for it when he visited the Padaleckis before, but now that he lives here he loves the room.

The Padalecki castle is much bigger than the Ackles', and while Jensen likes it, he sometimes feels a little lost walking the long hallways and being in the spacious rooms. The library, while by no means small, reminds him of the one back home. The walls are lined with books up to the ceiling and the whole room feels comfortable, safe. There's the slightly musty smell of paper and ink that he likes, and the scattered armchairs and settees are plush and nice.

He sometimes spends hours in the room, reading. Books on the royal family and kingdom first, but then he moves on to other stories. A lot of these times, Jared join him. Jensen will never tell him, but he cherishes those times. They're left alone in the library and he likes how normal it feels to be curled up on opposite ends of the biggest settee with Jared, their feet touching or legs tangled. They don't feel like the crown prince and his husband during those times, but just two friends hanging out. 

Jared likes to read out sentences or passages he thinks are funny and he prods Jensen until Jensen shares quotes with him, too or summarizes what is going on in whatever book he's reading just then. 

"You could just read it yourself, once I'm done with it," Jensen suggests every time.

"I like it better when you tell me," Jared will always reply, and Jensen never asks why that is, but the answer always makes him smile.

+

Jensen's other favorite place is the pond at the bottom of the hill, just a short walk away from the castle. Jared takes him there on Jensen's third day in the kingdom. It's hidden from view by trees and underbrush, and since it's part of the Padalecki's estate, there are no other people around.

"I thought you might like it," Jared tells him as they sit down side by side together. The pond looks darker than the lake, the water a murky blue-brown rather than the green-blue he grew up with, but to Jensen it's perfect. They sit together quietly for what feels like hours that first day and before they leave, Jensen hugs Jared, whispering a soft 'thank you' into his neck. 

They come back from time to time after that day. Much like the library, it feels like a sanctuary away from the daily bustle of court life, a little place they enjoy together. 

More than that though, he realizes one day as he's sitting by the pond with Jared, listening to him tell a story about the summer he spent with the Harrises, they're both places where he and Jared are alone. A couple of guards follow them to the pond but they stay back far enough that it's like they're not even there and the library is rarely frequented by other people. Here, it feels like it's just him and Jared. Jensen cherishes those moments with him.

+

"What is this?" Jensen asks, sniffing at the deep red liquid in the glass Jared handed him.

It's dark outside already. The fire is roaring in the fireplace, the nights are slowly getting colder as summer is drawing to an end. The change in weather is a lot more sudden than Jensen is used to, but Jared assured him that it's quite normal – the climate in the Ackles Kingdom is milder, whereas here the summers are hotter and the winters colder. 

It's been almost two months since Jensen moved to the Padalecki Kingdom, and he's slowly learning these things even though he's by no means used to them yet.

"Wine," Jared says.

Jensen takes a cautious sip and frowns.

"It doesn't taste like any of the wines I've had," he tells Jared. He's gotten used to the different wines they drink here over the last few weeks, but this one tastes nothing like them. It's sweet and sour at the same time, a little thicker than the usual wines.

Jared sits down by his side, takes a sip from his own glass, and smiles.

"It's berry wine," he explains. "It was my favorite when I was younger."

Jensen brings the glass back to his lips and smiles as he takes another drink from it.

"'Cause it's so sweet," he guesses. 

"Yeah," Jared agrees. "We had a cook when I was really little, she used to make this berry pie. It was so _good_ and the wine reminded me of it. First time I got drunk was 'cause a few friends and I snuck this wine from storage and drank way too much of it."

Jensen snorts.

"So the first time you got drunk, it was off a wine that tastes like _pie_?" he asks.

Jared laughs sheepishly.

"I was a wild child," he jokes.

"Yes. I remember that stealing pastries and sweets from the kitchen was your favorite thing to do as a kid, you thief," Jensen says. "You were uncontrollable."

"You know, you never really complained. In fact, you ate as much of those pastries as I did."

"But it was always your idea!" Jensen protests. "You're to blame for everything bad we ever did back then."

Jared smiles at him and leans over to pick up a plate from the tray that was bought in earlier with the wine. There are berries, cheese, and nuts glazed with honey on it. 

"So, I corrupted you, huh?" Jared asks, winking, as he holds out the plate to Jensen.

Jensen picks up a few berries and chews on one slowly, trying not to think about what Jared is alluding to.

"One could say you're a horrible influence."

"One could say I'm a great influence," Jared replies smugly. He crosses his legs, putting the plate onto his lap, and pops a piece of cheese into his mouth. 

Jensen snorts. 

"Remember when Josh and I were here and we sneaked into the kitchen and there were all these cakes for the summer solstice banquet that night? We were what, six or seven?" he asks, drawing one leg up and getting more comfortable. "And we thought we were sneaky cutting out tiny pieces of a few of them?"

"Someone from the kitchen staff caught us and told my mother," Jared finishes and laughs. "Oh, do I remember! You started crying when my mother started giving us this huge lecture."

Jensen blushes a little, because Jared is absolutely right. He'd felt miserable, having the Queen berate him like that and he'd burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. Sharon had ended up comforting him, feeling so bad for him that she'd hugged him. She told him she knew he was a good kid, and then sent him out to play. Jared as well as Josh had faced the rest of the lecture on their own and hadn't been allowed to go outside to play for the rest of the day.

"She knew you two talked me into that," Jensen boasts, grinning at Jared. "I was sweet and innocent."

"Were you?" Jared asks, raising an eyebrow. "'Cause if I remember correctly, you went into the kitchen again and stole an entire cake."

"You were mad at me for getting out of the punishment," Jensen reminds him, ducking his head. "You wouldn't talk to me."

"Well, I was an ass," Jared says and nudges Jensen with his foot. "I should have been the one asking for forgiveness; instead I got a cake from you."

Jensen smiles. He leans a little closer, picking up a couple of nuts from the plate. Dinner earlier, just the two of them tonight since Jared's parents were traveling to the Collins Kingdom, had been a traditional roast with root vegetables and he still feels full. After two months, he's still not quite used to the heavier food that's typically being served here, a far cry from the fish and greens they have for dinner back home, but he can never really resist the nuts. He loves the way they taste, the sweet coating of honey.

"Jared," he starts. "That cake? I didn't steal it. I just asked and good old Lindsey, she felt so sorry for me she gave me the whole thing. Told me they made some extra anyway."

Jared looks at him in surprise and then laughs softly. He slides an arm around Jensen's shoulder, tugging him in against his side.

"I should have known you couldn't pull off stealing a whole freaking cake," he says. 

Jensen grins.

"I did get the cake though, so my method was better than yours."

"Because you were a cute kid. All big eyes and innocent smile," Jared teases and then he grins.

"What?" Jensen asks.

"Just weird, remembering the things we did as kids and now we're married," Jared says in a soft voice. " _You_ are my husband."

"Is that good or bad?" Jensen can't help but ask. Jared looks at him, a small smile on his lips, and then kisses his temple.

"You're stupid for even asking that question," he replies.

Offended, Jensen pokes him in the side and Jared jumps, the plate sliding off his lap. They both make a grab for it, but a few berries and nuts roll off onto the settee and floor anyway. 

"I take it back," Jared says, picking up a few berries from next to his lap. "I regret marrying you."

"You don't," Jensen protests, and it comes out a little weaker than intended. Jared meets his eyes with a grin. 

"Nah, I could never," he agrees. The words give Jensen that weird feeling in his gut, that mixture between a flutter and a heavy, warm feeling. Over the last few weeks, he's been feeling that way more and more often, and he's not sure he likes it. He loves Jared, of course he does, but he dreads the idea of developing feelings for him. Jared has been his main source of comfort for the past months, going above and beyond what Jensen expected of him to make sure Jensen is okay, that he's taken care of and settling in. He's an incredible friend and Jensen knows he's lucky. But at the end of the day their marriage is not real and Jensen is afraid of complicating things. He likes how easy it is between them. He doesn't want that to change. And yet, he sometimes catches himself pondering what it would be like if they were truly together – he feels a flutter in his chest when Jared kisses his forehead every night before going to sleep, feels a giddy sort of excitement whenever he sees Jared after spending some hours apart. He craves being alone with Jared, having his attention and affection, in ways that are not purely platonic anymore.

+

One of the things Jensen has noticed is that the Padaleckis are a lot more in touch with the kingdom's population than Jensen's family ever was. He's not sure if that's a good or bad thing just yet, but it definitely strikes him as weird. The Padalecki Kingdom is bigger than the Ackles, and the royal family is decidedly much more powerful, yet they seem more approachable to Jensen. He realizes more and more that he's the one who grew up sheltered and pampered.

It's not just things like opening up the court to the public for special occasions – like his and Jared's wedding banquet – or the regular open court days where people can come to the King and Queen with concerns and questions. It's also visible in the customs. Like the fact that, now that fall is setting in, the royal family members are out in the forest, picking mushrooms after a good rain, just like the rest of the kingdom. Sure, they stick to the woods behind the castle and there are guards present, but somehow Jensen can't picture his brother and wife doing this. They went fishing sometimes, but more for the sake of fishing and being out on the lakes than procuring their own dinner.

It's something Jensen finds himself enjoying, though. He's not very good at it – the mushrooms are hidden under leaves and moss and among shrubbery and he's not very good at spotting them, nor does he really feel confident about keeping edible and poisonous mushrooms apart – but it's an enjoyable activity and Jared is doing his best to teach Jensen.

"What about these?" Jensen asks during one of those early morning mushroom hunts. He's kneeling by a small cluster of mushrooms, hidden between leaves, that he spied more or less by accident when he almost stepped on them.

Jared crouches down next to him and smiles.

"You tell me," he prompts. The basket he's carrying is already half-full, mostly due to Jared not Jensen, but Jensen has found a few mushrooms himself and he's having fun. 

Jensen looks back at his findings, taking in the brown caps, and then picks one to peer underneath. The underside of the cap is spongy, something Jensen has learned is generally a good sign though Jared has stressed several times how that doesn't mean they're not poisonous. Jensen rolls his lip between his teeth and then takes a glance around them. There's a mix of trees, but quite a number of them have the white bark of birches.

"Birch bolete?" he says tentatively, trying to remember the things Jared has told and shown him so far. Jared nods and grins, nudging the basket closer to Jensen's hand.

"You're getting good at this," he notes, and Jensen feels a sense of pride. He picks the small knife out of the basket and cuts the remaining few birch boletes off.

"You won't be saying that when I accidentally poison you."

Jared laughs.

"The mushrooms are checked again in the kitchen. Don't worry."

"And you're only telling me now?" Jensen sighs. He gets up and brushes a few wet leaves from his knees. His soft leather boots are splattered with muddy earth and more leaves are sticking to them. 

"I'm sorry?" Jared tries.

Jensen grins and shakes his head.

"No, I don't think you should be that easily forgiven."

"Hmm. Well, I know a place nearby with lots of blackberries," Jared offers. "Would that appease you?"

"Maybe," Jensen concedes. He looks at the two guards lingering a few feet behind them and then back at Jared. "You sure nobody will mind if we take a little detour?"

"We'll catch up with my parents," Jared waves him off. "My father gets distracted by every bird he sees and tends to stop to catalogue them anyway. We'll probably reach the castle before they do."

"Okay. On to the blackberries then," Jensen agrees. Jared grins, picking up their basket. 

Jensen follows him through trees and shrubbery, the guards trailing behind them. There are a few paths winding through the forest, but after the first couple of times Jared went off-road, Jensen has learned that he can trust Jared to know where he's going. 

It doesn't take long before they reach the promised brambles. The branches are all twisted together, creating a thick line of bushes lining a small clearing. Trying not to get stung by the many thorns, Jensen picks a few of the berries he can reach easily and pops them into his mouth. Jared is a little more adventurous, and Jensen smirks when Jared lets out a string of curses next to him while shaking out his hand.

"Careful," he says, looking at Jared. In the sunlight of the clearing, his horns look shiny, his hair a little lighter than usual.

"I'm trying to reach the really good ones," Jared tells him, shooting him a quick smile. "Gotta earn my husband's forgiveness."

"You're forgiven," Jensen says. "Don't hurt yourself for me, Jay."

"I don't think the thorns are really that dangerous," Jared replies lightly, meeting Jensen's eyes. He looks happy, pleased, and he holds up a cupped hand filled with blackberries. "Here."

Jensen picks a few from the top of the small pile and eats them. Then, in a spur of the moment, he leans up and kisses Jared's cheek.

"Thank you," he murmurs. 

Jared turns his head, nuzzles Jensen's temple softly, and replies, "You're very welcome."

Standing close together, they share the rest of the blackberries and then pick a few more, their shoulders and arms brushing together. Jensen flushes a little when he remembers the guards nearby, watching them, but even then he doesn't move away.

+

There's an easy affection between him and Jared that has been there since childhood, but Jensen notices that it's growing now that they spend all their time together. Now that they're married.

Jared kisses him goodnight on the forehead, sometimes brushes kisses against his temple or the top of his head when Jensen is feeling down. There's a lot of casual touching – a hand on each other's arms, a foot nudging another, and when they walk somewhere side by side they end up holding hands more and more often without really thinking about it. Spending an hour or so sitting by the fire in their chambers before going to bed also becomes something they do together most nights, and despite the fact that there's more than enough room, they always end up sharing a settee, sitting close together. Jared likes to throw his arm around Jensen and sometimes Jensen will rest his head on Jared's shoulder as he watches the flames.

It feels like there's something growing between them. Like what they used to have is evolving, expanding, and Jensen isn't sure where they're going to end up, but the more time he spends with Jared the more he realizes he's probably never enjoyed another person's company as much as this.

+

The pond looks even murkier now that summer is gone. It's rained the whole night and it smells distinctly of the old, wet leaves that are covering the ground. They make squishy sounds under their boots as Jared and Jensen walk around the pond. It's too damp and cold to sit down, but Jensen doesn't mind. Walking keeps them warm and Jared doesn't seem to mind when Jensen makes them stop every now and then to kneel by the pond, dipping his fingers into the water.

"I like watching you do that," Jared tells him, and Jensen looks up to sees Jared staring at Jensen's hand with a smile.

Around his fingers, the surface is rippled, tiny waves going outward in circles. The water is cold, but Jensen doesn't mind. 

"The way the water reacts to you, the way you get calmer. Serene," Jared continues.

"Oh, like you don't have the same type of connection to the forest," Jensen replies.

Jared shrugs.

"Yeah, but that's normal to me. It's part of who I am, who we all are," he says. "Your relationship to water is a lot more interesting to me. And I can't do the things you do – I can't make trees grow or plants bend or whatever. You touch water and it just...moves."

Jensen swirls his fingers through the water one last time and then pulls his hand back, getting back up.

"It's not exactly useful for anything though," he says sheepishly.

Jared smiles and slides an arm around Jensen's shoulders, drawing him against his side.

"No, but I can tell it makes you feel good. I like that."

Jensen ducks his head, trying to hide just how much the words make him smile. 

They round the rest of the pond and then make their way back to the castle. It's cold enough that day that Jensen feels a little chilled by the time they get inside.

"A hot tea would be nice," he suggests, and Jared nods.

"Sounds good," he agrees, stepping into the open hall behind Jensen. "How about we go into the library and have some there?"

Jensen is about to agree when he's interrupted by a female voice, calling out Jared's name. He turns and there's a young woman rushing toward them. She's smiling widely, her green dress and long blond hair flowing around her as she moves.

"Jared!" she calls again, and all but throws herself into Jared's arms. 

Laughing, Jared catches her, lifting her off the ground as he hugs her to his body and twirls in a circle once.

"You're back!" he says, voice animated and excited. He's beaming as he sets the girl back down, looking at her as if she's the best damn thing he's ever seen. Jensen stands by awkwardly, watching the two of them smile at each other.

The girl is beautiful. Her long blond hair is falling in ringlets down her back, tugged artfully around her horns, which are a little smaller and thinner than Jared's and glow in a light shade of brownish gray.

"Miss me?" she asks Jared.

To Jensen's dismay Jared looks down at her fondly and says, "Of course. I always miss you when you're not around. You have to tell me _everything_."

He sounds giddy and sincere. Jensen clears his throat hesitantly and Jared as well as the girl turn their heads to look at him like they didn't even notice he was there. Jared gives him a sheepish grin.

"Sorry," he says. "Jensen, meet one of my eldest and dearest friends, Katie. Katie, this is my husband, Jensen." 

Katie gives a small curtsy and Jensen smiles politely.

"It's nice to meet you," he says.

"You, too, your Highness," Katie replies. "I'm sorry I had to miss the wedding." 

"Katie's father is one of my parents' advisers. He travels a lot to other kingdoms. Katie always accompanies him," Jared explains. 

"That sounds very exciting," Jensen says, trying to sound interested. 

"Oh, it is. I've been to so many places, seen the most amazing things," Katie says and smiles at Jared. "It's a shame though that I can't spend much time with the people I'm close to." 

Jared slings an arm around her shoulders, hugging her to his side.

"Well, you're here now. And we want to hear all about your latest adventures. Right, Jensen?" 

"Of course," Jensen agrees. He even forces himself to give Katie a small smile. "We were about to have tea. You should join us."

+

The stories Katie tells them over tea and freshly baked cookies are impressive, but Jensen can't muster any real enthusiasm for them. Not with the way Katie keeps smiling at Jared, touching his arm and leg while talking.

Jensen isn't an idiot; Katie's interest in Jared is more than obvious. She looks at him like he hung the moon and she is doing everything in her power to show Jensen just how close they are. It starts when the tea is brought to them and she pushes the little bowl with sugar towards Jared while saying, "He likes his very sweet."

Jensen grits his teeth and smiles.

"Yeah, I know," he says. 

What follows are countless anecdotes, and while most of them are about Katie's most recent travels, she manages to bring up all kinds of shared memories with Jared that make Jensen feel like an outsider. There are inside jokes and allusions to things they experienced together, which Jensen knows nothing about. If he has to hear the phrase "Oh, remember when...." one more time, he will throw his cup across the room. 

He's sorely tempted to take Jared and drag him out of the room, away from Katie with her pretty face and enticing stories. Jensen feels a flare of possessiveness, of jealousy, he's never experienced before. For Jared's sake, he just smiles and nods at appropriate times and pretends to enjoy Katie's tales.

+

That night, as they get settled in bed side by side and Jared leans in to kiss Jensen's forehead, Jensen tilts his face up to catch Jared's lips in a kiss instead. It doesn't last longer than a second or two, but it's not exactly chaste and their lips part with a soft smacking sound.

The fire is still roaring, the room tinged softly orange, and Jensen's lips twitch up into a smile at the surprised look on Jared's face.

"Good night, Jared," Jensen murmurs. 

He gets comfortable facing Jared, brushing against his side, and closes his eyes. He's not going to let Katie take his husband from him.

+

"I heard about the arrangement you two have," Katie says a few days later.

Jensen is sitting outside on the wide stone patio that overlooks the swoop of the hill, the stairs down leading to the path he and Jared always take to the pond. He's weaving a basket out of willow shoots, something he was taught as a kid like so many lake people. 

Katie joined him a while ago, reading a book, the two of them silent. Now, Jensen makes a soft noise in reply but doesn't say anything. 

"It was very nice of Jared, marrying you when you needed someone. Very gallant." 

Jensen sets the half-finished basket down.

"He's a good friend," he agrees, tone emotionless.

"Yes. He's very kind, always trying to help people out," Katie agrees. "Jared's one of the most selfless people I know. He'd do anything to make other people happy, wouldn't he?" 

"Yes, he would. It was certainly very nice of him to help e out. It's a good arrangement, for both of us."

"Both of you?" Katie prompts.

Jensen gives her a bland smile.

"He was looking for a spouse as well, but from what he told me he never met anyone he liked enough to want to marry them," he replies coolly. "The match suited us both very well."

Katie gives him a challenging look, and returns Jensen's smile.

"He's young and very desirable. He would have found someone and fallen in love sooner or later. I believe a marriage should be based on love, not convenience."

"A marriage can be convenient and still be full of love. You don't have to worry about Jared and my relationship, Katie, I can assure you we're both very happy," Jensen says. "Now excuse me. My _husband_ and I always have lunch together and I want to freshen up a little."

Katie gives him a sour look, but doesn't reply. Jensen counts it as a victory.

+

"So, I heard you had a little spat with Katie," Sharon says while they're picking out decoration for the upcoming Harvest Festival that afternoon. She sounds amused, rather than upset, but Jensen still feels a twinge of embarrassment.

"You did?" he asks.

"People like to talk," Sharon says with a small shrug. "The guards and maids are good at fading into the background, but that doesn't mean they're not there and listening."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Jensen. I wasn't trying to reprimand you," Sharon says. She picks up a small centerpiece, twigs and red berries woven together, and hums. "Rumors can spread fast and they can be viscous. We need to be careful about what we say, but you know that. You're much better at adhering to the many rules of a court than my own son. But at the same time, I like to think we're just people and I believe sometimes it's best to speak your mind openly."

"Katie and I don't exactly get along," Jensen admits.

Sharon smiles.

"Ah yes. I'm not surprised. She is a lovely girl – smart, witty, and quite charming," she says. "And she is hopelessly in love with my son."

Jensen sighs and sits down at the table where all kinds of different flower arrangements are displayed for them.

"What does Jared think of that?"

"Oh, our dear boy. I'm afraid he's always been rather oblivious to these kind of things," Sharon says with a laugh. "He doesn't see it. Never has, I'm afraid."

"And if he knew how Katie felt?" 

Sharon sits down by his side.

"He is very close to Katie. They've been friends all their lives and she is very dear to him. Like a sister," she says. 

"Are you sure?" Jensen presses. Sharon smiles at him kindly.

"Yes. He never would have married you if he had feelings for someone else, Jensen." 

"He doesn't have feelings for me either," Jensen says with a shrug. 

Sharon snorts, the sound loud and lacking any kind of grace.

"Has he told you that?" 

"No. But...he just wanted to help me, that's why he married me," Jensen says. "We're friends." 

"Yes, he considers you a good friend indeed," Sharon agrees. "And yes, he wanted to help you. But that does not mean he doesn't have feelings for you that run deeper than friendship. That, with time, your relationship won't change." 

"You think so?"

"Well, from the way you're asking me, things have already changed for you," Sharon observes. "And I don't think those feelings aren't reciprocated. One of you just needs to take the first step and open up...and I'm afraid it's not going to be Jared."

"Why not?"

"I know my son, Jensen. You've been going through a lot of things this year, a lot of changes, and Jared is trying very hard to make things easier for you. He wouldn't want to add to your discomfort and burden you with his feelings."

"It wouldn't be a burden."

"Well, he needs to know that," Sharon says and covers Jensen's hand with his. "Talk to him. You won't be disappointed, my dear." 

"Okay," Jensen agrees softly.

"Now, I believe we have decoration to pick out," Sharon says, clapping her hands together. "I think we should go with something simple this year. Last year Gerald got his wish and we had huge flower arrangements, but if I'm honest with you I never really liked those. What do you think?"

"I like simple," Jensen says with a smile.

+

Jensen lies awake that night, trying to come up with a way to best talk to Jared about how he feels. If he should be straightforward or maybe hint at it, let Jared figure things out himself?

"Can't sleep?" Jared whispers into the dark. 

Jensen startles.

"Sorry. Am I keeping you up?" 

"No," Jared says but Jensen knows it's a lie. He's been fidgety, shifting and making noise. 

"Do you want to talk?" Jared asks, and Jensen shuffles a little closer to him. 

"I don't know," he admits.

"You're upset about something."

"Not _upset,_ " Jensen corrects. "It's just...there's something on my mind, I suppose."

He's jostled as Jared moves, sitting up. A few moments later he lights the small oil lamp on the nightstand. Jensen blinks at the soft orange glow in the room and sits up as well. He scoots back, leans against the headboard, and Jared shifts to sit next to him.

"Talk to me," Jared says softly. "Tell me what's going on."

"It's complicated," Jensen starts.

"Is it home?" Jared asks. "I know you miss it."

"I do," Jensen says. "There are still so many things that are strange to me here. Things about home that I miss." 

"I'm sorry." 

Jensen sighs.

"Don't be," he says. "If it wasn't for you, who knows where I'd even be now? You have done so much for me – your whole family has – and I'm nothing but grateful. And I like it here, Jared, I truly do. It's different, but different isn't always a bad thing." 

"But you're not happy." 

"I'm not unhappy," Jensen replies and smiles at Jared. A part of him wishes Jared would just magically get what's up with him, that he'd guess it and Jensen wouldn't have to say it.

"What does that mean?" Jared asks, though, looking puzzled.

"Everything is still so new. I think, with time, I will be happy. At least I really hope so." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yes. You don't have to worry about that, Jared," Jensen says. "What about you?" 

Jared looks at him, eyebrows drawn together.

"What about _me_? My life hasn't been uprooted." 

"Marriage is a big change," Jensen points out, and as far as hints go, it's pretty damn subtle but he still feels his heart begin to race. 

Jared snorts.

"Well, rest assured, being married to you is not a hardship," he teases and kisses Jensen's temple. Jensen closes his eyes for a moment and leans into him. 

"No?" 

"No. Certainly not," Jared says and touches Jensen's cheek. 

"Jared," Jensen murmurs and bites down onto his bottom lip, looking up at Jared. They're so close and Jensen's stomach flutters with nerves. _Kiss me_ , he thinks. _Please just kiss me_.

Jared gives him a hesitant smile.

"I wish I could read your mind right now," he admits.

"Why?" Jensen prods in a soft voice.

Jared cups his face, palm warm and broad.

"Can't you guess?"

"Can't you tell me?" Jensen replies, and thinks about what Sharon said about one of them having to take the first step. "Or just kiss me," he adds in a hesitant whisper.

For a split moment, he sees a flash of relief cross Jared's face, and then Jared closes the small distance between them. His mouth covers Jensen's and Jensen lets his eyes flutter closed with a soft moan as their lips touch. He turns his body into Jared's, leans into the kiss, hoping it's enough to tell Jared how much he wants this.

His lips part when Jared's tongue slips out, his fingers pressing gently against Jensen's jaw, and Jensen swears he can feel Jared smile against his mouth.

+

The castle is the busiest Jensen's ever seen it since he got here. The Harvest Festival is one of the biggest celebrations in the Padalecki Kingdom, and everyone at court is at work preparing for it. Cleaning, cooking, decorating, preparing rooms for guests from all over the kingdom – it seems like there's a never-ending list of things to do. Jensen is genuinely looking forward to the festival – they celebrated it at home but it was always a small affair, and Jensen is excited about experiencing it here. The way Jared's been talking about it – the lavish buffet with every food imaginable, the candles and decorations – Jensen thinks it's going to be one new tradition he's going to enjoy.

The only bad thing is that he and Jared are both busy with the preparations, too and don't get to spend a lot of time together. Now, more than ever, being with Jared is all Jensen wants though. They haven't done much; they've kissed, laid tangled together in bed, but neither of them has made a move to take things further. The new closeness, the intimacy between them, is enough to send Jensen's heart racing though and leave him craving for more.

It's a few days before they both find a little free time after dinner in the evening. Jensen suggests the library, mostly because it's one of the few places where they'll be alone other than their chambers, and Jensen doesn't dare suggest that they retire to their bedroom already.

They settle onto the couch with books, but instead of sitting at opposite ends like they usually do, Jared pulls Jensen against him.

"This is better," he murmurs, kissing Jensen's temple.

Jensen grins and opens the book he picked, pulling his legs up and stretching them out on the furs and pillows. They read in comfortable silence – Jensen a book on the traditions of the forest folk, and Jared some folktale Jensen has never heard of but knows Jared will tell him about later.

Jensen is completely engrossed in his book when the door flies open a little while later. He looks up just in time to see Katie bursting into the room, the layers of her dress billowing out behind her. 

"There you are!" she says, smiling even as her eyes flit between them. Jensen sits up a little straighter and gives her a polite nod. "I've been looking for you all over, Jay."

"Did we have plans?" Jared asks.

"Well, not yet. But it's a beautiful night and I thought we should go outside. Take a walk," Katie says. "You always loved to do that, didn't you?"

It's not really a question, just another reminder of how well she thinks she knows Jared. Jensen refrains from gritting his teeth.

"I was actually thinking Jared and I would spend the rest of the evening together, just he and I," he interjects and offers Katie a smile. "There'll be so many people around for the Harvest Festival. We probably won't get much time alone for days and I was hoping for some quiet time together before that. You understand, right, Katie?"

"Oh. Jared?" Katie prompts, and Jensen feels Jared shrug against him.

"You heard my husband," he teases. "We can hang out some other time, right?"

Katie presses her lips together, before giving a short nod.

"Of course," she says. "Well, I suppose I'll leave you two alone then. Have a nice evening."

"You, too," Jensen says.

"Bye Katie," Jared says, but she's already turned and is closing the door behind her. 

Satisfied, Jensen leans back into Jared, only to feel Jared poke him in the side.

"What was that about?"

"What?" Jensen asks.

Jared is silent for a moment, before saying, "I didn't know we had specific plans for tonight, for one."

"I just thought it'd be nice," Jensen protests.

Jared hums and Jensen feels his lips brush against the shell of his ear.

"Well, care to share what exactly you had in mind?"

Jensen blushes, and turns his head back to look at Jared.

"Just, you know, kinda like this."

"Like this?" Jared repeats and ducks his head, kissing Jensen softly. The angle makes Jensen's neck twinge, though, so he tries to twist around without breaking the kiss, and ends up half sprawled over Jared's lap. He's about to pull back, not wanting it to seem like he's trying to rush things, but Jared's hands settle on his hips and pull in closer.

Jensen makes a pleased noise and wraps his arms around Jared's neck. The kiss is slow, but far from chaste. Jensen wishes they could do this forever. He loves how it feels to be held like this by Jared, to be so close, and the deep, languid kisses they're sharing.

After a while, though, Jared pulls back with a few smaller kisses. His cheeks are a little flushed, lips shiny and pink, and Jensen can't help but steal a few more kisses before Jared puts a hand on his chest to hold him back.

"Let's move this to our bedroom," he suggests. "I really don't want a maid to walk in on us like this."

Embarrassed, because he totally forgot that anyone could come into the library, Jensen ducks his head and nods.

"Probably a good idea," he agrees.

+

The thing Jensen loves most about their bedroom is the bed. It's even bigger than his was back home, and the sheets are silky and soft, the feather-filled comforter the most comfortable thing Jensen has ever slept under, and it's heaped with pillows. At the end of the bed, there's a small pile of furs for really cold nights, but with the fire roaring they haven't really had to use those yet.

Jensen ends up lying on his back in the middle of the bed, Jared pinning him down with his body as they make out lazily. Jensen's tunic is rucked up to his waist, Jared's fingers trailing along the couple of inches of naked skin just above the waistband of his tights. His touch is exploratory rather than suggestive, but Jensen still can't help the small noises that escape him. The only reason why he's not embarrassed is that Jared moans against his mouth whenever Jensen's hands so much as brush against his horns.

"This is nice," Jared mumbles, brushing kisses up Jensen's jawline. 

"Yes," Jensen agrees breathlessly.

Jared laughs softly, and Jensen can feel the noise vibrate against his skin.

"I think I'll have to tell Katie that I won't be available for nightly walks outside any time in the future if this is how I can spend my evenings instead," he says.

At the mention of Katie's name, Jensen stiffens. He's been trying not to be jealous anymore, and it's been working these past few days. But hearing Jared say her name while kissing and touching him so intimately has him tensing up.

"What?" Jared asks. He draws back, propping himself up on his elbows.

"It's nothing," Jensen mutters with a shake of his head. He tries to pull Jared back down to him, but Jared doesn't budge.

"No, I think that was something," he argues. "What's up? And don't think I haven't noticed that there's something going on with you and Katie."

Jensen rolls his bottom lip between his teeth and refuses to meet Jared's eyes.

"You don't have feelings for her, right?" he finally asks in a whisper.

"What? No!" Jared exclaims, huffing. "Why would you ask that?" 

"She likes you." Jensen shrugs.

"She's my friend." 

Jensen looks back at Jared, meeting his gaze.

"Yes, but she likes you," he says more firmly.

"This is probably a huge misunderstanding. Katie and I have known each other since forever."

"We've known each other since forever," Jensen points out. "And it's not a misunderstanding. Ask anyone else."

"Well fine, say she does. It doesn't matter," Jared says. "I'm _married_." 

Jensen gives him a tentative smile.

"And you still don't regret it?"

Jared rolls his eyes.

"You're stupid," he says. "Gorgeous, but stupid."

"Hey," Jensen protests, but Jared silences him with a kiss. He coaxes Jensen's lips apart, and slips his tongue past Jensen's lips, kisses him deep and dirty, and Jensen forgets all about feeling insulted or jealous of Katie.

+

The Harvest Festival is more impressive than any celebrations he's ever experienced back home. The buffet is even more lavish than he imagined it would be and though he stays away from a few things that seem a bit too exotic for him – there's a dish made with liver that he refuses to eat – most of the things he has are amazing.

The courtyard is crowded, looking beautiful with the last flowers of the year as decoration and garlands strung everywhere. Jensen's favorite place is the ballroom though, glittering with candles.

"I'd say your first Harvest Festival as an Padalecki is a success," Jared says. Jensen smiles at that. He's been getting compliments for everything, from the food to the music to the decoration, all night and he knows the guests are being polite, but he still feels proud of what he helped put together.

"Everyone seems to enjoy it," he agrees. He takes a small sip of the spiced cider he's having, which he's never had before but tastes better than any wine he’s ever had. 

"Are _you_ enjoying yourself?" Jared asks.

"Yes," Jensen replies and lifts the jug up a little. "I think this is my new favorite drink."

Jared laughs, eyes glittering in the candle light.

"Well, do you think you can put it down for a while and come dance with me?"

Pretending to think about it, Jensen cocks his head to the side and looks from Jared to his jug and back to Jared.

"I don't know. I'm _really_ liking this."

"There'll be plenty of it in the next few months. It's the perfect drink on a cold night, to help keep you warm," Jared says and holds out his hand. "I'll have the cook make you some anytime you want if you come dance with me."

"You drive a hard bargain, your Highness." Jensen puts the jug down on a nearby table and puts his hand into Jared's. Jared grins and bows down, kissing the top of Jensen's hand.

"And you are quite irresistible, your Highness," he replies.

"I'm afraid everyone but my husband will have to resist me anyway," Jensen retorts softly, while Jared leads him closer to the middle of the room where the couples are dancing.

He pulls Jensen close, one hand sliding around Jensen's waist while he clasps the other with Jensen's.

"What a lucky man," he murmurs into Jensen's ear as they start moving.

Jensen laughs quietly.

"He's not too bad himself," he says and then adds, "I kinda like him."

"He kinda likes you too," Jared replies, soft and sincere, and if they weren't in a room full of people Jensen would kiss him. Instead, he settles for leaning in closer, letting his nose brush against Jared's jaw, his temple resting against his cheek.

+

The festivities are still going strong by the time Jared and Jensen bid people goodnight. It's late and Jensen feels loose , tipsy from the cider, and ready for something a bit more quiet.

Jensen shucks his shoes and tunic. He is about to slip on his nightwear, when strong arms slide around his waist and lips brush against his neck.

"Leave it," Jared murmurs. 

Heat curls in Jensen's belly.

"Yeah?" he asks in a whisper, and Jared’s fingers trail over the waistband of the deep green pair of tights Jensen is wearing, tugging it a little lower.

"Yeah," he says. With his hands on Jensen's hips he turns him around, bringing their lips together in a kiss.

The sound of music and chatter from the courtyard is filtering in hrough the half-open window, but the festivities already feel ages away as Jared guides them back to the bed and gently pushes Jensen down onto it.

Jensen crawls back onto the mattress, watches with rapt attention as Jared pulls off his own tunic, the belt already somewhere on the floor, and then Jared strips the rest of his clothes off as well.

In the light of the fire, his skin glows dark golden and shadows dance across it. Jensen takes it all in, his mouth going dry. Jared looks even more beautiful than he remembers from that night months ago, broad and strong. He's grinning as he kneels on the mattress by Jensen's legs.

"You too," he murmurs.

Jensen feels himself flush, his skin growing hot, but he nods and starts tugging down his tights. Jared's fingers brush against his as he helps, pulling the garment off Jensen and tossing it aside.

"Look at you," Jared whispers. He kneels between Jensen's legs, leans down and places soft kisses on Jensen's thigh, then his belly, his chest, as he moves up.

Jensen is hard by the time they kiss, arousal pumping through his body. With the open window, the room feels a bit chilly despite the fire, but Jared is like a blanket of heat as he covers Jensen. Jensen can feel him, halfway to being hard too, and he moans into Jared's mouth, grinding up against him. 

This is what they did that night so many weeks ago, but Jensen wants more now.

"Jared," he murmurs when they break the kiss, both of them breathing harder already. "Can we..."

"Can we what?" Jared asks, and peppers kisses over Jensen's face.

"You know." Jensen rocks his hips up again, feels his cock slide against Jared's and bites back a gasp.

"Are you sure?"

Jensen snorts.

"We've been married for how long now?"

Jared kisses the corner of his mouth, then his cheek.

"Well yeah. But that wasn't part of the original arrangement though."

"I want it to be," Jensen says. "Don't you?"

Jared laughs weakly.

"Of course I do," he assures. "I wasn't trying to talk you out of it, sweetheart. Just wanted to make sure."

"Please," Jensen replies softly. "Please."

Jared makes a soft noise at that and kisses him hard. Jensen kisses him back and, remembering last time, traces the fingers of one hand down the curve of Jared's left horn. Jared makes a soft, choked noise, grinding down against Jensen, and wrenches his lips away.

"You're going to kill me," he groans, kissing and nibbling a wet path down Jensen's throat.

"Last thing I want," Jensen promises. He turns his head, giving Jared better access, and moans as Jared's lips seem to find every spot on his body that Jensen never knew would make pleasure shoot down his spine. 

He stops just before reaching Jensen's cock, and Jensen whines in protest. Nobody's ever done that for him, but he's heard enough to know the basics, and he desperately wants to feel Jared's mouth on him. 

"Shh," Jared soothes. "One moment."

The weight of his body leaves Jensen and he watches as Jared moves to get a small vial from the nightstand. Jensen assumes it's oil and he wonders if it's been there for a while or if Jared got it just recently, for them. 

Jared pops the vial open with a small grin and pours some of the thick liquid onto his fingers. "Just relax," he murmurs. He leans down, presses a small kiss to Jensen's belly, then his hip, before wrapping the hand that's not all oiled up around Jensen's cock.

"Jared," Jensen groans, hips shooting off the mattress. Jared just laughs softly before his lips wrap around the crown on Jensen's dick.

"Oh. _Oh_ ," Jensen pants, as wet heat engulfs his cock. Jared lets him slide in deeper, sucks him harder, just as Jensen feels a wet finger slip between his cheeks. At the first touch, Jensen flinches, nerves as well as anticipation coiling in his belly. Jared gently rubs his thigh with his free hand.

He presses the finger in slowly. It's weird, the feeling strange and new, but not entirely unpleasant. Jared's mouth on him is enough to distract him. 

Jared pushes in and out, carefully at first and then a little more boldly, twisting and pressing and stretching. Jared's mouth pops off his cock, and he tongues over the slit while pushing a second finger in, making Jensen moan. There's a slight burn now, the stretch more noticeable, but it's still not bad. He's been waiting for this, anticipating it, and the fact that it's happening, that Jared and he are doing this, is enough to make him dizzy with need and want. And then Jared rubs against what Jensen thinks must be his prostate, because it makes him gasp, hips bucking widely. 

"Good?" Jared asks, against Jensen's dick, and Jensen groans at the sensation. 

There's a third finger a few moments later, pressing and curling inside of him. Jared holds his hips down with his free hand, places kisses on his hipbone, nuzzles his cock, but all Jensen can really focus on now are the fingers inside of him, the need pooling hotly in his stomach.

"Jared. Jay," he keens helplessly, rocking his hips down. He wants more, Jared's fingers not enough to bring him over the edge, and desperation is starting to crawl through him. Jared shushes him and pulls his fingers out, kissing the inside of Jensen's thigh softly. One of his horns brushes against Jensen's naked skin and he shudders. 

Jared sits back then, smiling, face flushed.

"Turn around," he says, and nudges Jensen onto his stomach. He makes him lift up his hips, pushing a pillow under them, and Jensen hides his blushing face in his arms. He feels exposed, his ass on display like that, slick from the oil, and yet reckless with his need for Jared.

Jared's hands coming to rest on his thighs, thumbs pressing into the underside of his ass, make him jump a little. This is it, he thinks, this is really happening now. 

"We don't have to do this, sweetheart," Jared says, and Jensen turns his head to the side, catching his eyes. 

"No, I want to. Just..." he trails off, and Jared gives him a small smile. He leans over Jensen and catches his lips in a kiss.

"I know," he murmurs. He nuzzles Jensen's jaw, placing a few soft kisses there as well, and Jensen relaxes a little again. 

When Jared pulls back, pops open the vial again and spreads the oil over his cock, Jensen watches him over his shoulder. Jared's dick is big and heavy, glistening with the slick. He props himself up over Jensen on one hand, kisses his shoulder, and smiles.

"Ready?" he asks, and Jensen nods. He closes his eyes, nervous, and waits for Jared to push in. The feel of his slick cock against his entrance ups his nerves, but before he can really think about it further, Jared starts pressing in. It burns, but Jensen tries to breathe through it, and Jared stops a couple of times, gives him a few moments to get used to the feeling, before he keeps going. He feels bigger than he looks, stretching Jensen wide, and Jensen can't help but marvel at the fact that Jared is inside of him, that they're doing this.

"You feel so amazing," Jared murmurs when he finally stops, voice strained and breathless. The hand he's not using to hold himself up comes to rest on Jensen's side, rubbing the skin soothingly. He's all the way in now, his hips pressed against Jensen's backside, and it's an almost overwhelming feeling. 

"You're..." Jensen falters. 

Jared nuzzles his neck, asks, "What?" 

"Big," Jensen says stupidly, and Jared laughs softly. Jensen feels the sound, moans at the way Jared's cock shifts inside him a little. Jared kisses his neck once, twice, and then Jensen feels him roll his hips a little. It's a small movement at first, but along the weird feeling of fullness there's a spark of pleasure and Jensen sucks in a breath.

"Good?" Jared asks and repeats the action. Jensen makes a small noise again, and it seems to be enough to encourage Jared. 

His thrusts get deeper, harder and before long he's fucking into Jensen at a steady pace. Jensen feels like he's being split open, everything narrowing down to the feeling of Jared filling him, pushing in and out of his body, and it's so intimate, so amazing, it's overwhelming. 

Jensen is arching his back, trying to move with him, torn between wanting more and trying to get some friction on his own cock, which is hard and wet, trapped between his stomach and the bed. They're both making noises, moaning and grunting and gasping, the sounds echoing around their bedroom. 

"Jensen. _Jensen_ , sweetheart," Jared chants, pushing deep into him again and again. His fingers are digging into the flesh of Jensen's hip, holding onto him as they move together. He presses wet, needy kisses to Jensen's jaw, his cheek and Jensen turns his head back so they can kiss, reaching behind him, fingers curling around Jared's horn and twisting in his damp hair. Jared grunts into his mouth and after a few more thrusts, Jensen feels him go rigid. He comes hot and wet inside of Jensen, moves his hips in slow, erratic thrusts that slowly taper off. It feels good, amazing even, but it's not enough and Jensen makes a needy sound into their kiss. He's so hard now, pleasure coiled tight in his belly, and he feels ready to burst, to lose it if he just gets a little more.

Jared breaks the kiss and pulls out, shushing Jensen's protests.

"On your back," he says in a ragged voice. "I got you. I got you, sweetheart."

Jensen lets Jared roll him around, and then he moves right down and takes Jensen's cock into his mouth while his fingers press behind Jensen and slide into him. The heat and suction around his cock and Jared's fingers rubbing against his prostate are enough and Jensen comes with a startled cry, moving his hips up and down restlessly.

They end up in a heap of tangled limbs in the middle of the bed, sharing lazy kisses as Jared's fingers draw patterns onto Jensen's back. Jensen feels giddy and worn out at the same time, content. They pull the comforters over them as the sweat cools on their skin, the chilly air from the open window making Jensen shudder.

Outside, people are still celebrating, though it's not as noisy as before. Jensen smiles at Jared. 

"So," he murmurs. His voice sounds a bit odd, his throat a little scratchy.

Jared hums, grinning.

"Guess we officially consummated our marriage."

+

Jensen wakes up first the next morning. Jared is still out, face half buried in a pillow, hair a mess. Jensen shifts, feels the tacky residue of what they did between his thighs, his muscles sore, and his face heats up thinking about it.

Tentatively, he reaches up and brushes a strand of hair out of Jared's face. He looks young, face relaxed and lips parted a little, snoring softly. He's beautiful and Jensen feels a wave of happiness just looking at him.

Smiling, Jensen traces his fingers down Jared's jawline, then lets his hand move back and trails the tips of his fingers over the curved horn.

"What are you doing?" Jared mumbles, not opening his eyes. Jensen jumps a little, but doesn't pull his hand back.

"Touching you," he replies, making Jared smile. His eyes blink open slowly.

"Morning," he says softly and adds, "Husband."

The word sends a thrill through Jensen's body. It feels different suddenly, truly real.

"Good morning," he replies just as softly, brushing their lips together. His fingers are still tracing Jared's horn, the touch soft.

"Jared," he starts, and Jared makes a small noise of acknowledgment. "Do you mind that I don't have these?"

It's something he's always been curious about. As far as differences go, it's the most obvious one between them and it's made Jensen feel a little insecure for a while. 

"These?" Jared echoes

"Horns," Jensen explains. 

Jared gives him a puzzled look.

"Why would I?"

"'Cause everyone here has them. I just...sometimes I wonder. If it bothers you that I look different," Jensen admits.

"Did you ever think that it was weird that I had horns? Do wish that I didn't and looked more like your people?" Jared replies, and Jensen frowns.

"No, of course not. You're, you know, really hot."

Jared grins.

"And I think you're perfect."

"Jared," Jensen protests.

"Every single part of you. My perfect husband," Jared adds. Jensen smiles at him even though he feels himself blush.

Jared grins knowingly, obviously aware of what his compliments do to Jensen, and pulls him closer against him with an arm around his waist, leg tangled between Jensen's. He kisses him softly.

"How do you feel?" he asks, fingers tickling over the small of Jensen's back.

"Good. Fine," Jensen replies, confused by the inquiry. Jared nuzzles his neck, kisses the sensitive skin there.

"Not sore?"

The question makes Jensen blush even harder, and he really hopes someday soon he'll stop feeling embarrassed about these kind of things, hopes to learn to be as open and comfortable about it as Jared seems to be.

"A little," he mumbles. Jared's hand moves lower suddenly, one finger slipping between Jensen's cheeks and sliding over his hole. Jensen's reaction is instant, arousal pooling in his stomach and his tummy fluttering in anticipation.

"Bad?" Jared asks, as Jensen gasps. Jensen moves his hips back, trying to get more.

"N—no," he mumbles. "Jared."

He wraps his arms around Jared's neck and pulls him in for a kiss. He makes a surprised noise when their lips have barely touched before Jared has flipped them around and tucks Jensen on top of him.

Jensen pulls his legs up so he straddles Jared and finds a balance, and pushes himself up with his hands on Jared's chest.

"What now?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

Jared smirks.

"Whatever you want?"

"Yeah?" Jensen asks. He shifts until he feels Jared's hard cock press against his ass and wiggles a little to make it slip between his cheeks. Jared moans, hips shooting up, pressing against Jensen more firmly. It sends a thrill through Jensen, the thought of getting Jared back inside of him, and he can't believe just last night he was nervous about this.

"Can we?" he asks, and Jared looks at him through half-lidded eyes, spots of color on his cheeks.

"God yes. Just give me a moment," he says. He rests one hand on Jensen's hip and slips the other behind him, fingers trailing between his cheeks once more. Jensen bites down on his bottom lip, a choked off gasp falling from his lips, as Jared pushes one finger right in. There's a bit of a sting due to the soreness, but he takes it easily. 

Jared makes him get the oil before he adds a second finger, just as easy as the first, and Jensen arches his back, rocking down on the fingers. 

Jared opens him up quickly, and then slicks himself up, before Jensen positions himself over his cock and slowly lowers himself onto it. The stretch still burns a little, but Jensen finds himself not minding, and he keeps going until he's completely seated. 

"Oh _God_ ," Jared hisses, face even more flushed now. He looks wrecked already and Jensen likes that, feels proud of himself for having put that look on Jared's face.

"You feel so good," he murmurs before lifting himself up a little, hands firmly on Jared's stomach, and slides back down. The first few times, his movements are a bit clumsy, until he finds a position that makes it easier for him to move and feels fantastic too. He rocks up and down on Jared, feels the slow drag of Jared's cock inside of him, the way it presses against that spot inside of him perfectly.

"Is...that good?" he pants, bouncing up and down a little faster. The muscles in his thighs are beginning to burn a little from the strain.

"Yes," Jared hisses in reply. His head is thrown back, the long line of his throat exposed, and Jensen can't help but stare at him as he fucks himself on him. Jared is gorgeous, skin golden and shining with sweat, the muscles of his arms flexing as he holds onto Jensen's hips. Jensen feels dizzy with it all – the feeling of Jared inside of him, filling him, the pleasure coursing through his body, and the same pleasure he can read on Jared's face. It's good, so inexplicably good, and he comes all too soon, the intensity of it making him cry out. He feels his muscles contract around Jared as he shudders through his orgasm, and Jared moans, words spilling from his mouth about how good Jensen feels, how tight and hot.

Jensen feels boneless, his body humming with pleasure and satisfaction, and he wants nothing more than to sink down and bury himself in Jared's arms. His movements are nothing more than little hitches of his hips now, joined by small, breathless noises. Jared grips him by the hips more firmly and starts pushing up into him, hands guiding Jensen up and down. 

"Jared!" Jensen cries out, the feeling almost too much and yet absolutely mind-blowing. Jared grunts, thrusting into him a handful more times before he comes too. 

Jensen barely manages to pull off him before he collapses on top of Jared, sighing happily when Jared's arms wrap around him.

"Never want to move again," he mumbles and Jared hums in agreement.

+

Unlike in the Ackles Kingdom where the Harvest Festival lasts one – rather short – night, in the Padalecki Kingdom it's spread over several. The big celebration was the first night, but a lot of guests stay a while longer. There are several activities the next day: the children go gather berries that the kitchen staff will make into pies for dinner, some guests go out on a ride, and games are being played in the courtyard.

In the afternoon, Jensen uses all the commotion of people coming in from the ride to pull Jared away.

"What are we doing?" Jared asks, following Jensen down the hallway. Jensen turns around and brings the hand that isn't clasped with Jared's up, placing a finger of his lips.

"It's a secret," he says with a grin as he leads Jared into the castle's big kitchen. The room is filled with the kitchen staff, busy preparing dinner.

There's a murmur of surprise when they step into the room, followed by a flurry of curtsies and bows and mumbled "Your Highnesses". 

"Don't mind us," Jensen says, waving everyone off with a smile. He drags Jared right to Lindsey, the head of the kitchen staff. She's been with the Padaleckis for as long as Jensen can remember, and she smiles warmly at them.

"Your Highness," she greets, then winks at them. "What can I do for the two of you?"

"I was just wondering if you happened to have made a few too many berry pies and wouldn't mind giving one to us," Jensen says with his best innocent smile. "I mean, someone should make sure they're good before the guests have some anyway, right?"

"Are you questioning my baking skills, young man?" Lindsey asks sternly, her eyes twinkling.

"I would never," Jensen promises. He leans in and whispers, "I'm just trying to impress my husband."

"I see," Lindsey says, patting his cheek. She looks past him, to Jared who is standing behind Jensen. "You two go sit down and I'll give you one slice each."

"You're the most wonderful woman on earth," Jensen tells her and pecks her on the cheek. He drags Jared out of the kitchen before Lindsey can change her mind.

Next to the kitchen, there's a room with a long table where the staff usually eat together. Jared and Jensen sit down there, side by side, and Jared grins at him.

"I see nothing has changed. While the rest of us have to be sneaky to get our way, you just smile and bat your pretty eyes at people and they melt," he teases with a shake of his head.

"I only use my power for good things," Jensen replies with a cheeky grin. "Like, getting you pie."

Jared kisses his cheek. 

"Well, aren't I glad I married you?"

"You better be," Jensen murmurs and Jared kisses him again, on the lips this time.

"I am," he admits.

+

Dinner that night is followed by music and dancing, but it's quieter and most people are sitting back, relaxing and chatting.

Jared and Jensen are sitting with Jared's father, listening to him recount a story from this afternoon's ride, when Katie approaches.

"Your Majesty," she says, curtsying in front of Gerald. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Not at all, my dear," Gerald says.

"I was wondering if I can talk Jared into dancing," Katie says. "We didn't get to last night."

Jared looks at Jensen, obviously hesitating, and Jensen sees Katie's expression fall from the corner of his eye. He feels a little bit bad for her then. If this was ever a competition, Jensen knows he's won and he knows it must feel horrible to be in Katie's place. To be in love with Jared and not have those feelings be returned. Jensen knows how devastated he'd feel about it.

"You're free to go have fun with a friend," Jensen murmurs, giving Jared a quick smile.

"Yeah?"

"Well, last time I checked you're your own person and can to do whatever you want, Jay."

"Whatever, huh?" Jared asks.

"Within reasons," Jensen amends, and Jared grins. He leans in and gives Jensen a quick, chaste kiss and then gets up.

"Let's go," he says to Katie. He shoots another smile at Jensen over his shoulder as he's being dragged away and Jensen returns it. He's not completely comfortable with Katie yet, but he feels less apprehensive than he did just a few days ago. He trusts Jared, believes him when he says he doesn't have feelings for her. He knows now that he has nothing to worry about no matter what Katie might try.

"You two seem happy," Gerald notes, and Jensen glances at him, ducking his face.

"Yes, we are," he agrees.

+

The weather gets progressively chillier after that.

The beautiful yellow and orange leaves that made the forest look so vibrant are starting to fall, coating the ground in a colorful layer. Jensen finds himself enjoying the cooler weather; he likes the wind rustling in the trees, watching the leaves fall, and the he loves walking through them. Then that weather turns too, and the wind and chill are replaced by storms, the trees now bare. The leaves on the ground are turning brown and muddy.

He wakes up one morning to rain splashing against the windows and wind howling. This is the kind of weather they rarely ever had in the Ackles Kingdom, the climate there a lot less temperamental. To his surprise, Jensen doesn't mind the rough wind and rain either, though. The castle is warm and he's happy to stay inside. The last mushrooms, nuts and berries have been picked, the kingdom having prepared for winter, and the castle is well-stocked.

That morning, the fireplace in their room is already alight, casting a warm orange glow around the room. For the first time, the furs have been dragged up, adding an extra layer of warmth from their waists down, and the loud splatter of rain against the windows is oddly rhythmic, soothing almost. 

Jensen is snuggled up against Jared, his head pillowed on his chest. He knows when they'll get up, there'll be hot tea and freshly baked pastries, and if there's nothing pressing for them to do they'll probably spend the day holed up in the library again. Just thinking about it makes Jensen smile, looking forward to their day. He's happy. It's been a rough year, but Jensen realizes he is truly at peace now.

+

It's late November when he gets a letter from his brother, telling him Lydia had the baby. A little, healthy girl named Sofia.

It's Jared who suggests that they'll travel to the Ackles Kingdom right away to meet their niece, and they set out the next morning. The timing isn't perfect, the weather not good for traveling, but they're hopeful that it won't start snowing until they're back in a few weeks, shortly before Christmas. 

The journey takes a few days, but then the carriage is passing the familiar lakes. Jensen watches them from the window, the same way he did when they left. It's foggy that day, the white mist hanging over the water making it hard to see far beyond the shore. And then, finally, Jensen can make out the castle as they get close, looming darkly in the fog, and he feels almost giddy with excitement.

Josh is waiting for them in the large foyer. His staff is there to take their luggage right away and take care of the horses, and Jensen is happy to just step into the warmth of the castle and pull his brother into an embrace. Josh looks a little tired, but there's a happy grin on his face and he hugs Jensen long and tight.

"Good to see you, little brother," he whispers, and Jensen pulls back with a grin.

"Well, I'm not here to see you."

Josh laughs.

"Lydia and Sofia are resting," he says. "I'm sure they'll be up soon. Sofia isn't exactly a great sleeper."

His tone is exasperated, but his expression is full of fondness, and Jensen smiles.

"I can't wait to meet her," he admits. "And neither can Jared." He looks over his shoulder to Jared, who is standing back a little. "Right, Jay?"

"Of course!" he says and steps closer. "Good to see you again, Josh."

Josh nods and hugs Jared too, stepping back with a clap on his shoulder. "You, too. You've been taking care of my brother?" he asks in a playful tone, and Jared meets Jensen's eyes for a second, a small smile playing around his lips.

"To the best of my abilities."

Jensen sidles up to his side, wrapping his arms loosely around Jared's waist. Getting up onto his tiptoes, he brushes a kiss over Jared's cheek.

"You're perfect," he says, and Jared tugs him a little closer with an arm around his shoulders.

Jensen can tell Josh is watching their interaction closely, and when he looks back at his brother he finds him looking at them with a curious, but not surprised expression, lips turned up in a smile.

"So, why don't we have some food and a hot drink while we wait for Lydia and Sofia to wake up?" he suggests. "And you two can tell me all about what's new with you."

+

To Jensen's relief, Lydia joins them in the sitting room before Josh can start quizzing them about their relationship. She's carrying Sofia in her arms, tiny and bundled up, and he’s pretty sure he's staring like an idiot at them. Lydia gives him an amused smile.

"Well, want to come here and say hi to me and your niece? Maybe hold her?" she asks.

"Yes," Jensen replies eagerly and gets up. He pulls Lydia in a hug as best as he can with Sofia between them, eyes fixed on her tiny little face. 

"She's beautiful," he says.

"She is," Lydia replies proudly. "Come on, hold her."

Jensen takes her from Lydia carefully, makes sure he supports Sofia's neck, and cuddles her up against his chest.

"Hey Sofia. I'm your uncle Jensen," he whispers. Strong arms wrap around his waist, and Jensen leans back into Jared with a smile. "And this overgrown guy behind me is your uncle Jared."

Jared chuckles softly and kisses Jensen's cheek.

"She _is_ really beautiful," he agrees softly. "But I wouldn't expect anything else from an Ackles."

Jensen grins and tips his head back.

"You're calling Josh beautiful?"

"Ew," Jared replies, making a face. "There's an exception to every rule, I suppose."

"Hey," Josh protests, and Jensen laughs softly.

+

It's nice, yet a little strange, to be back in the castle. The place hasn't changed much, but yet it feels totally different to Jensen. The castle isn't small by any means, but he's become used to the vastness of the Padalecki castle and the rooms here suddenly feel smaller than he remembers. There are other things, too: he's never noticed it before, but the light blue color scheme feels a little cold suddenly, lacking the warmth of the red and deep green colors that are everywhere in the Padalecki castle. And the food is good, but after the third night of having fish Jensen finds himself longing for something a little heartier. And walking the halls now, instead of being normal, makes him feel a little nostalgic, suddenly remembering things from his childhood – like playing hide and seek in the guest wing and sliding down the banister and the one time he fell off and broke his arm.

The weirdest part is his old chamber, though. Without his things, the room feels just like any other room in the castle. It's not _his_ anymore, lacking the comfort and safety the room once represented. His room, now, is the wide, beautiful chamber he shares with Jared in the Padalecki castle. He misses their bed, the heaps of pillows and furs and sheets he likes to cuddle up in with Jared; misses having a drink by the fire with Jared before turning in, tangled up together on the settee; misses the way their room is a mix of both their things, how everything about it screams _theirs_ , together.

He's still happy to be back, but he realizes it's not so much the place but the people that make him feel that way. Spending time with Josh and Lydia, the easy familiarity between them, and of course, Sofia. Jensen and Jared spend as much time with her as they can, and Josh and Lydia seem all too happy to get a break from carrying her when she's crying, rocking her and humming songs to her until she calms down and falls asleep. Jensen doesn't mind – not even when Sofia pukes on him or when she cries for so long his ears feel like they're permanently ringing when she finally quietens down.

+

This late in the year, it gets dark early. Jensen stands by the window on their last day visiting his brother and looks at the dark lake spreading out at the foot of the castle, the water pitch black as nighttime is falling.

He startles a little when the door opens and Jared comes in. He's holding a plate of pastries and a bottle of wine.

"I got these from the kitchen," he says.

With a last look outside, Jensen pushes away from the window and joins Jared in front of the fireplace. Jensen snags a pastry while Jared opens the wine and pours them a glass each. When he's done, Jensen leans into him and snuggles up against his side. 

"Are you sad we're going home tomorrow?" Jared asks in a whisper and kisses the top of Jensen's head. Jensen sighs.

"I'll miss my brother and sister-in-law, and Sofia. She's so adorable." 

"She is," Jared agrees. His hand strokes down Jensen's back, the touch comforting. 

"Yeah," Jensen murmurs, thoughtful. He leans forward, picks up a glass and takes a sip from the wine. "Don't tell Josh, but I...I miss the forest, the smell of the trees and the mulled cider, and our bedroom. I miss..." 

"Home," Jared finishes. 

Jensen's heart beats a little faster at the word, realizing how true it is. This place right here, it's his childhood home but it's not _home_ anymore the way the Padalecki castle is now.

"Yes," he agrees softly.

"I'm glad," Jared murmurs. "I was worried leaving would upset you again. I want the castle to feel like home to you - our home."

Jensen tilts his head back, smiling.

"It's not _really_ the castle, Jared," he says. "It's this guy that comes with it."

"Yeah? Bet he's one handsome fella," Jared teases. Jensen pushes up a little, kisses Jared gently.

"I love you," he says. Jared returns the words, murmured against Jensen's lips, and cups his face with one hand as he deepens their kisses. His other hand palms Jensen's ass, tugging and pulling until Jensen is sitting sprawled over his lap. There's a crash of what must be one of their wineglasses, but Jensen doesn't bother to check. He's too busy making out with his husband, drawing the hottest little sounds from him as he rocks down against him.

+

The forest gets denser as the carriage makes its way down the rocky road. The earthy scent of the woods is hanging in the air, a chilly, crisp wind rustling through the trees. Jensen is cuddled up under furs, his cheek resting on Jared's shoulder.

He's been dozing for a while, but he's awake now. It's not long before the first houses appear, scattered here and there, and Jensen knows they'll reach the castle soon. Under the furs, he curls his hand into Jared's and smiles. 

"It's going to snow soon," Jared says.

"You know, the weather's always been just a little too mild for that in the Ackles' Kingdom," Jensen says. "I've never actually seen snow."

"Really?" Jared asks. 

"Yeah."

"You're going to love it, Jensen," Jared says and kisses his forehead. Jensen smiles, trying to imagine what it'll feel like to walk through the snow. Knowing Jared, he'll probably turn into a kid and talk Jensen into playing around in it – from snowball fights to building a snowman, all the things Jensen heard about but never experienced. He's looking forward to those things too, even though he'll tease Jared mercilessly for being a kid at heart. 

"Yeah, I know I will," he agrees. There hasn't been a thing yet that he hasn't ended up loving, as long as Jared is there by his side.


End file.
